Lit Vagina = More Cash Transcript
When your vagina is happy and healthy and getting well-fucked on a regular basis, it is very productive. In fact, your life and your work output are directly related to your vaginal satisfaction. Your sexual flow and your financial flow are intimately connected.
If you want to make more money, have more sex. Sex with your partner, sex with yourself, it all counts. When you light up your vagina, you turn on your life. With a turned-on and activated vagina, your creative powers are at their maximum potential.
Your lit vagina is your mover and your shaper. This is your creative source. As you wake it up and then you activate it to be the divine birther of all things, it does exactly that energetically. It magnetizes opportunities, people, ideas, and wealth, right into your lap.
The second chakra, which governs the reproductive organs, is also the chakra of money and creativity.
What’s the connection? When you are expressing yourself and giving your gifts to the world, when you really show up in your life, when you put yourself out there, the universe responds in kind. It rewards you. Energy comes back to you in the form of abundance and wealth and all of the things your heart desires. It is the great universal exchange.
The more you get in touch with your sexual energy, which is your creative blueprint—remember, all of your entire genetic coding is housed here. As you get in touch with this, this is your true self and so your work, your self-expression, becomes more of an extension of the real you.
This isn’t like some of kind of job that you do and show up just to pay the bills, we’re talking more about the concept of a vocation. This becomes a reflection of your innermost, deepest self, and the gifts that you have to give in the world. You self-realize in all parts of your life.
Right now, I spend about half my year in Bali, some time in Australia, some time in Los Angeles, and then other beaches and amazing places around the planet. And people often look at my lifestyle, me living and traveling and surfing and lifting objects with my vagina all over the world, and they say, “Oh, you are so lucky.” And I smile and I say, “I created this, or rather, my vagina created this. Let’s give credit where credit is due.”
I often use the hashtag, #PoweredByVagina, to show that I’ve created my life via my sexual energy and there were years when I was earning a decent living, but it was very money in/money out.
I was having a hard time generating a surplus, and so I made some changes in my direction. I got braver about expressing my truth. I cleaned up all the debris and the potential leakages in my life and I had some massive sexual breakthroughs, and then the money began to pour in, and I passed that breakeven barrier and took off at light speed.
Let’s talk about what I mean with leaks for a moment. A leak is anything, anywhere in your life where you are giving or draining away your vital energy. Usually it’s unconscious, or at least in terms of knowing that you are losing energy in this place. An example of an energy leak would be a dysfunctional relationship. This would be a connection that tends to leave you feeling more exhausted, under-fucked, sad, frustrated, and with energy lost, rather than energy gained. Instead of feeling uplifted, you feel tired out by it.
Another example would be having a weak vagina. Your pelvic floor muscles are flimsy, and they aren’t able to hold in your qi when they haven’t been properly exercised with a jade yoni egg.
This was and is a big deal in the Taoist universe. You have a major energy point at your perineum and it’s actually referred to as the Gate of Life and Death. This is because it’s a receiving and broadcasting station for all of the other organs, energy, and even cosmic, universal energy. This point is also connected to your naval, which is your chakra of manifestation. When your pelvic floor is weak, your energy is gushing out and this means that your creative powers are also diminished, and your overall health might not be so great either.
Sealing leaks on both levels is essential for creating abundance. When you see leaks in your life, then you increase your vaginal power, you strengthen your ability to create in the world, and as I always say, sexual energy is lifeforce energy, the energy that generates new life and if you aren’t creating babies, then you need to be directing that energy somewhere.
If you don’t, it will invert back on you in all sorts of destructive ways, creating everything from depression to weight gain to health problems to zero cash flow. You have the creative power of the universe at your genitals. Use it! Your reproductive organs have metaphysical and energetic potential and when you awaken and activate them, you can use them to shape your world.
Bottom line—you need your vagina. It is your wisdom, power, creativity, and cash source. It becomes a living, breathing entity within you.
This is one of the first things, I guess, that I noticed in my own yoni egg practice, is that the more I began to use the yoni egg—and it wasn’t even that much only a few times—I began to have this sense, like my vagina was this sentient being. Like it had its own consciousness. It was this thing that lived inside of me. There was me and there was my vagina.
What is the best way to activate your vagina? Here’s what I suggest. Later in the podcast, we are going to have one of our Well-F**ked All Stars, Hayley, who is going to also share how she did it.
First off, for a lit vagina, activate and strengthen your genitals.
As I’ve said, most women are walking around with numb and quite weak vaginas and if your vagina is numb, not only are you not feeling much pleasure during sex and then you’ll probably start to think you have a low libido, because who wants to have sex when you can’t feel anything, but you can’t truly activate these superpowers until you feel it and you own it, and that pussy is a party of you.
Because we live in a culture that is so openly anti-sexual—and yet hypersexual all at the same time—most people don’t fully claim and own their sexual power. They disassociate from it and from their genitals and then from themselves. This disassociation manifests as numbness. Sexual and emotional trauma are also internalized and stored in the genitals. In order to access and unleash their true creative power, you have to wake them up.
In the past weeks, I’ve been talking about yoni massage and jade yoni egg work as incredibly wonderful ways to de-numb and awaken the vagina, so these are both excellent tools to inhabit your reproductive organs.
I know it’s a bit of a chicken-and-egg —ha, ha—situation, but orgasms clear and open energy channels in your body. Your orgasms, especially the deeper vaginal orgasms, act as this giant scrub brush to go through your energy meridians and blast away stagnant and stuck energy.
By the vaginal, internal orgasms, I mean G-Spot and cervical orgasms.
These not only give you the biggest biochemical kick, but they’re also what I refer to as the life-changing orgasms. They come from the very depths inside of you and they release all kinds of stuck energy, reconnecting you to your true self. Then from this place, you can more easily create your life.
My podcast two weeks ago was on the power of cervical orgasms and how they are so deeply cathartic and self-realizing. Yes, you can have the benefits of hours of therapy, plant medicine experience, and an out-of-body meditation all in one. These are one of your best energy leak fixing and block clearing tools that you have available to you all through your orgasms, right at your fingertips.
Third up would be to get in your feminine flow. Your vagina is the epicenter for your feminine energy. When you’re in touch with your feminine, you flow in life. You stop fighting and resisting and you begin to intuitively feel into what is right for you. You make better decisions from your heart, your vagina, and your true self.
In the archetypal energies of masculine and feminine, the qualities of the feminine are openness, surrender, receptivity, but most of us have bought into the idea that in order to be successful in the world and to get anything done, we have to occupy more of our masculine selves. We have to work hard, keep going, fight the good fight, in order to achieve anything. There is a different way of doing things. You can practice receptivity. This is the art of attracting good things to you, rather than slogging to get them.
All of the things I’ve spoken about so far are instrumental in helping you to open up and surrender, to trust yourself, and life, and the process of being in love and intimate. This is where you occupy your greatest superpowers, when you’re in this place of trust and openness.
So, as you learn to open up and drop your guard through clearing your sexual blocks, you pave the way for the deep vaginal orgasms. The deeper orgasms help you to live more in this perpetually-open state of receiving and trusting abundance.
Then, of course, clear the blocks in your sexual relationship. I’ve spoken a bit already on the idea of sealing leaks. Blocks cause energy leaks, as well as just stop up the whole flow and leaks will block positive things from coming into your life, so they’re kind of similar, but different, I guess. Like clearing blocks and sealing leak supplies to both your own relationship with sex and within an intimate partnership.
If you carry internalized sexual expression, and we all do, unless we consciously clear it, it weighs you down until you confront it. If you carry trauma that hasn’t been processed and resolved, it taints your sexual energy. It places a filter on it that mutates its expression.
And the same thing applies to your relationship. If there are unresolved issues, this stunts the true procreative power that you can have together and then all of this shows up as impeded cash flow.
One couple I was working with had decades of financial instability. They were self-employed and this would show up as a lot of feast or famine, but mostly famine. And all of this mirrored their marital blocks. Meaning that once we worked on healing and clearing issues within their intimate relationship, they began to notice this correspondence in their ability to bring in abundance. They would literally get a phone call come in the day after we had a session together with an invitation for a new job. Like each time that we processed some kind of block that had been sitting in the ethers for years, they would get a job offer. This was like clockwork.
This can actually be pretty fun. This energetic and sexual feng shui. Watch for when, each time you release a block or you fix a leak, and that you’ll draw something even better and more powerful into your life. This is a spiritual law. Nature does not leave things in a vacuum, it fills up the space.
Now, I present you with our Well-F**ked All Star, Hayley, who is going to speak to us about how a lit vagina = more cash.
KIM: Hi, Hayley, thank you for being here!
HAYLEY: Thank you so much for having me!
KIM: I’m so excited to jam with you today on the topic of lit vaginas, sex and money, honey!
HAYLEY: My favorite.
KIM: So, tell me about your experiences with the whole idea that I talk about and have seen in my own life and the people I work with. That is the idea that the more people clear their own sexual blockages, whatever those might be within themselves, within their own current intimate relationship from the past, their own ideas about sex, and the more that they inhabit their sexual energy, the more they really bring out their creative power and manifesting power. This translates into more of what they want—their true dreams, what they want to create in their lives, and money all show up as abundance in every possible way.
You had an amazing experience that I thought would highlight that very well, plus anything else that you want to share with us that you’ve noticed in your journey and how opening up sexually has translated into how you create and manifest in the world.
HAYLEY: Oh my goodness, okay. I was not ready for the experience that I had. I didn’t expect that it was going to come so hard and so fast and so quickly, to be perfectly honest.
KIM: Sounds like a great orgasm.
HAYLEY: Well, yeah. It was like going down a hill with no brakes but holding onto the handles. And I had to just let go and see what was happening. Just let it happen. In other words, it felt like it was completely out of my control, but I never felt I was unsupported or endangered or anything like that.
I believe that money is energy and everything is energy. What I was experiencing prior to doing this work with you was that there was a sexual stuck energy in the sexual parts of my body.
In my sexual being—I don’t even want to say it was parts of my body. It was just an area that I was comfortable talking about. I loved talking about it, but I couldn’t get that depth and richness. And when I started exploring it, it was like the energy started moving through my body in a completely different way.
You really taught me about surrender, Kim, and so people ask, “How can I see my own blind spots? How can I find a quantum leap in my life? How can I see what I can’t see?” And my answer to that is always: Do the things that you avoid. Do the things that you are afraid of and look at what you know is available to you right now to actually do and shift and change. Do that, even if you think, “That has nothing to do with my life or my business or money or what I want to manifest.” Do it because it’s what’s available to you in this moment. It’s going to be elegant. It’s going to be clean. It’s going to be easy.
When I found you, it was the most inconvenient time to start doing some work on this. You couldn’t find a more inconvenient time. I had just moved across the country. My whole life was in the container, still is. We were renovating a house and we were just spending so much money on our house and I was actually living next door at my parents’ house, with my parents, and it was winter, and it was freezing.
One of the biggest things I was really afraid of in working with you was, if I go down this path—“I’m going to be living in a house with my parents, talking about sex with people, when there’s always someone in the next room.” I was deeply afraid of that. I didn’t know that my family just needed to hear that or if they were ready for it or whatever. It was so intimidating.
The Australian dollar was down a hole. It was essentially twice as much almost, not quite, but to start working with you … we were spending money on renovation and to top it off, it was winter. The only warm room in the house [laughs] was one with a fireplace in it and all four of us, me and my partner, my two parents, would be in the room. My dad would be watching the footie, my mom would be watching a gardening show on YouTube, my boyfriend would be watching something else, and, on my laptop, I was watching the benefits of eating come.
It was so confronting for me to even say yes, just knowing what I was up for.
KIM: Yeah!
HAYLEY: But it was available, and I said yes, and I was all into it. I had to make it work even though it was so inconvenient, because I was feeling, “I’ve got to be here. I’ve got to do this. This is something that I’m feeling pulled to do right now. Not later, but right now.”
Now, I believe that money is energy and so you don’t just believe that in one area of your life, such as, “Oh, I believe money is energy and it works for me in my business.” You have to believe it everywhere. In your renovation it works, in your partner’s business it works, in someone else’s career—money is energy everywhere. You either believe that or you don’t. When I went all in with this and started experiencing the leaps and understandings from you about surrender, I had to surrender to the whole process. My living situation was so inconvenient and yet I was feeling called to it. I had to surrender to how this was working, just like how you’ve taught me to surrender during orgasm—by allowing life to penetrate me deeper and deeper and deeper. I just had to open up to it and let it happen.
Through that understanding and awareness, through that practice of surrendering, I started speaking up about things that literally brought me to my knees. I started speaking up about my beliefs about money on the internet and online and I started sharing the things that I had held inside of my heart. I’ve been in business for 12 years now, Kim. I’ve held this in my heart for at least six or seven of those years, thinking, “I cannot teach this. I’m going to be persecuted for what I’m teaching; it just goes so against the grain.” But that level of surrender taught me to speak my truth in a way that I had never done it before, to the point where—you might remember this during your mentorship, Kim—I had this thing on my lip. It came out as I started speaking out about things.
KIM: Right, yeah.
HAYLEY: And it was literally stuff leaving my body. It was really freaky and scary because I went to see someone about it and she said, “That is some really bad stuff leaving your body right now.” And again, I just had to surrender to it. What ended up happening was this cataclysmic shift in my experience of money coming back in to support me in a way that was exponential. Do you know what I mean? And it hasn’t stopped. It wasn’t a one-off; it wasn’t a fluke. It keeps getting better and better and better.
I know this is from the work of learning how to surrender to life and to the muse and how to speak my truth, even in situations where it makes me feel uncomfortable. Because it develops intimacy and love and a clear channel for you to connect.
KIM: Absolutely. Let’s give people a little bit of history here. Of my salons, you’ve done Vaginal Kung Fu. Is that the only salon you’ve done, or have you done other ones?
HAYLEY: Well, I’m taking the Sexy Mama Salon through the work that I’m doing with you in the mentorship. That’s the only one I’ve done.
KIM: Do you feel equipped to talk about any of your yoni egg experiences?
HAYLEY: Yeah, absolutely.
KIM: Just to give some background, Hayley has taken my Vaginal Kung Fu Salon and now she’s currently in my mentorship program. She’s referring to the investment that she made for the mentorship program, which was $25,000 U.S., which probably is about 40,000 Australian, or something like that, which would’ve been pretty big. Throughout the mentorship program, we work a lot on block-clearing and your own embodiment of the work, with the idea that you can’t really teach this work on a deep level if you haven’t done your own work and you haven’t processed through your own stuff. That’s where we start, is really focusing on people’s own block-clearing, looking at their own intimate lives and relationships and orgasms. Then, moving through that, they’re able to become purely embodied teachers and models of this work, which Hayley is a great example of.
You’ve also done work with the jade yoni egg. Tell us how that’s been for you.
HAYLEY: Well, at first, using the yoni egg was a very foreign idea to me. This is not something I had explored previously, so it was really new. I was intimidated, actually, to go down there and play and fiddle around in ways that I had never done before. I’d only kind of used my hands and allowed others to penetrate me and use their hands in that way, but I’d never used an egg before, so it was really fun and interesting.
But the way that you taught how to do it was so gentle and it was quite methodical, actually. And so I felt safe and comfortable to keep going, even though I was scared to actually use it in the beginning.
KIM: As you were going through the program and then feeling yourself unfold more into abundance, what correlations did you notice with your financial abundance?
I’ve often seen with people that as they clear blocks within themselves, every block can kind of show up then, that they clear as something that comes to them. I’ve often heard this phrase on my spiritual path, that the universe does not like a void, and so as you purge things and you let go of them, the universe actually rushes in to fill up that space with something more positive.
It’s kind of like the laws of feng shui. We clear out clutter and then we allow more positive things to come into our lives.
HAYLEY: Well, something really interesting happened for me during this process and that was that there were times when I realized that I needed to slow myself down. Things were coming up that I had never dealt with from my past before. It was quite earth-shattering, to kind of start allowing myself to go there, to feel safe to go there, and then that translated into my conversations with my partner when we were just having intimate conversations and clearing the glass between us. And I noticed that the juices started flowing in all different ways.
When I started allowing these things to come up, not because there was something wrong with me or it meant I had to stop or I had to push through or force through, it just allowed my body to tell me when it was a yes and when it was a no. It allowed my body to show me by way of how juicy it was feeling that things were good or not good. I mean, things come up, Kim, that you don’t expect. Memories come up; experiences came up from the past that I hadn’t even remembered, and through this work, I was able to slowly, gently, recondition my neural programming and the pathways that had told me something was dangerous or that I couldn’t do that. I wasn’t able to orgasm in that way. That wasn’t available for me. And slowly but gently, my body just started to become so much more in flow. I felt the energy moving all the way through my body.
That was the one area that I hadn’t really gone yet. I’d done so much to work on myself, but I’d left sex to be the last thing. I thought, oh, I’ll go there later. That’s something that kind of comes after business and what-not, but really, how you do anything is how you do everything. Where I was tense in my relationship or I was tense in my orgasm or I was tense in my sexual energy, often all around me, I was tense. When that started to flow again, everything started to flow.
KIM: Right. That’s what I see quite a lot. I know in my own experience, when I cleared some of my biggest sexual blocks, and had my biggest breakthroughs sexually, that’s when, financially, things really started to flow. I was at a steady pace for a while with my financial income and my manifesting abilities. Then, once I hit these quantum leaps in terms of breaking through things that I’d been stuck with or that had been with me for a while or patterns—I guess it actually comes down to courage; really, really daring to leap into some new places. And that’s when the payoff really happened.
I’m a really big proponent of the idea of courage being the price of admission and the quality that separates the girls from the women. The people who really make amazing things out of their lives and those who don’t. I often think that we get similar opportunities. That can be dependent on karmic conditions and a variety of things, but the thing that separates people can often be the idea of courage. People who are really willing to jump through and dive into and shed something that they’ve been relying on in the past or comforts that they’ve been hiding behind crutches—they let those go and step forward and that’s when the universe rushes in to take them upward and outward and allows them to give their gifts into the world.
I see such a big correlation between sexual energy and our creative gifts, our genetic blueprints, so that when we actually become in tune with our sexual energy more and more and more, that shows up as a more refined and true expression of who we are out in the world in terms of our vocation and the gifts that we have to give out in the world.
I like what you said earlier about there being things that you had been wanting to share and talk about in your work, because you’re a coach and you had these fears of persecution or judgment. Going through the mentorship program would help give you more and more courage, but as you took those chances or built that up, it cleared your own blockages and that became easier and easier to do. Kind of unstoppable.
That’s what I’ve found: when people actually move into that space sexually, their self-expression becomes unstoppable. They’re not trying to take chances. They’re not trying to be courageous. They’re not trying to be more of themselves, they just are.
HAYLEY: I could not agree with you more. It was surprising because you begin to feel so powerful. In every area of life, you will know what to do when the time comes, and you really do begin to feel absolutely unstoppable.
Was it easy? No. But the ease was a choice. Diving into a scary conversation didn’t necessarily become easier. I felt the same feelings in my body of fear, but I was able to move through it from understanding that when you start to transform one area of your life, it flows over to every other area of your life. While I might have been talking about money, I could feel my whole body tingling because I knew that this work that I had done with my sexual energy made me feel so alive and so powerful that I could really say anything, and I knew that I could take care of myself. I knew that I would be okay if everything else fell apart.
When you start channeling and start recreating your life based on this new foundation of understanding, you can actually speak your truth and you will be okay. I found that actually, I didn’t have to try for these situations to be courageous. Those situations came to me. It wasn’t as if I was going out into the world and saying, “I’m going to be courageous here and now; I’m going to be courageous there.” Just like you said, it naturally started to happen. People started to notice things from the other side of the world. They’d call me up and ask me for help with different things. You could feel me through the internet because something was actually transformed in my whole energy.
People who have known me for a really long time, but we’ve never spoken; people who I really, really respect and love and admire—I didn’t even think they knew who I was, but they were all of a sudden reaching out for my help because I was showing up in a way that I had never shown up before. But it wasn’t coming from a place of force; it was coming from a place of power.
KIM: I know that you had a big launch when you were in the middle of a program and that went really well for you. Do you feel comfortable sharing?
HAYLEY: Yeah. I’ve had many big launches since then. Something kind of shifted for me and I ended up making the same amount of money that I used to make in a year in about two weeks. And then a month later, I did the same thing again, and then a couple months after that, double that. Lit vagina = more cash.
KIM: What?
HAYLEY: Yeah!
KIM: Oh my gosh! Lit vagina = more cash indeed!
HAYLEY: Yeah. I’m serious when I say the channels do really open up when you start doing the work in areas of your life that you think might not be relevant to what you want to manifest or create.
If you want to create something in your business and you think, “Oh well, that sexual stuff has nothing to do with my business. I’ll deal with that once I really focus on my business, so I’m going to engage a business coach and I’m going to learn strategies and I’m going to get them to beat all the fear out of me.” But what’s really available in this moment is having a deep conversation with your partner that opens up intimacy. You’re allowed to surrender to what’s happening in your relationship or with the sexual energy in your body and what happens to you when you’re about to have sex and you don’t feel like it and you’re forcing yourself to do it.
Those interesting pieces of stuck energy around your body are where the leap is available for you. That’s where you become the channel for everything else to manifest. It’s not forcing yourself in the direction that you think you have to go; it’s being available to the direction that is right in front of you and surrendering to it. For me, that was my sexual energy qi.
KIM: I know for you personally, a big piece of your journey was the concept of—and probably still is—occupying more of your feminine energy. You’ve said several times the idea of surrender was part of the process for you. We talk a lot about how, as women, we tune into more of our feminine energy and aren’t reliant on what we think we need, which is a really strong, dominant, forceful, masculine kind of occupation of ourselves to get things done. Being more in the feminine is kind of like what you’re describing, tuning into what’s available in the moment, nurturing ourselves, not forcing ourselves, and coming from this place more of cultivating our inner abundance or peace or wellness. That’s when we start to attract and manifest things. Like you said, people were reading things in your energy field from across the world. We start to radiate something that people pick up on in the ethers.
It’s not so much of “okay, my website needs to look like this for me to get clients.” It’s more, “actually, my energy field needs to feel like this for me to get clients, because that’s what people are responding to.”
HAYLEY: Absolutely. Absolutely.
KIM: The more deeply I go into my sexual energy and the idea of opening, the idea of surrender—for me as a woman, one of the best entryways to get there is through deeper vaginal orgasms, G-spot orgasms, cervical orgasms. I did a podcast a couple weeks ago on cervical orgasms and how they really are this gift and this power tool for women because the whole process to get to cervical orgasms is to open and relax and surrender.
When you do that, you open up this whole flow. It’s like you begin to become a channel for divine spirit and divine energy in the world and then when you act in the world, you’re not thinking so much as you are just being.
It’s like when you’re surfing or you’re doing anything in the zone where you feel like you can do no wrong. You just intuitively go from thing to thing to thing. You make great decisions. The world just seems to open up to you and bring you what you need. You start to occupy this place of the zone and the flow and abundance where your lit vagina = more cash.
As women, our vaginas are one of the biggest tools that we have to take us there. That’s what these are. They are caverns that lead us into the unknown. This portal between life and death, between this world and other worlds, the cervix and the uterus, where we bring life down into this world—they are our creative, channeling mechanisms in this world, on this plane.
Our journey to addressing, connecting to, and occupying our sexual energy as women is so pivotal to how we can manifest out in this world. Historically, women’s reproductive issues have been relegated to baby-making and even trying to force women to be housewives for ages. Relegating this power, again, to just their ability to make babies, rather than this deeper purpose of tuning into this energy doorway to our creative source.
Prior to the patriarchal cultures, in matriarchal societies, they valued this power that women have of creativity, being connected to the other worlds, being these vessels for bringing in new life.
Through all kinds of practices that we can do, like yoni egg work, yoni massage, sexual work, orgasmic exploration within the vagina, we activate the power of the vagina to act as this channel for us.
All of the work that I do for women is about really getting them to reconnect to this place within themselves.
HAYLEY: My vagina became my muse during this process, Kim. I mean, I grew up as a martial artist. I spent 15 years doing martial arts. I was competing at an international level, and everything I learned about success was that you do not show pain in the dojo, you don’t let down your guard, you don’t let yourself be vulnerable; you show up, you don’t show any weakness, and you just keep going until you pass out, literally.
And I was really good at that. I got to the very top, nine times in fact, and I burned myself out really bad. I won my eighth world title. I ended up with chronic fatigue syndrome, and I was sick for almost three years. During that time, I learned and realized that I was so disconnected from my body. I didn’t even know what intuition was, but during the years I was healing my body, I had to learn to actually start listening to it.
I think I got better around 2011 and between then and now, I’ve been really deeply connected to my intuition, but I never associated my intuition with my vagina. That piece right there, I got to 9 out of 10, using my vagina, listening to it, became the 10 out of 10 piece. It was like the missing puzzle piece that allowed me to step into my truest feminine power. Moving away from being a martial artist, I had to relearn how to do life, not forcing it through. Not punching people in the face. Not going until I passed out, literally. I really had to rewire everything I knew about success.
And to be at the top of your game there, you had to be able to fight like a man. You had to be able to show up and play with the boys. Even though you were fighting with women, everyone would try to be a man.
The way that I became successful in martial arts was to really own and honor the fact that women are very different from men. We are very into our flow. Our power is in our presence and that’s what had me stand out in my martial arts. But again, I got it on a cerebral level, not on a heart level, not on a body level, not from an embodiment perspective.
This little piece of the puzzle—it’s not that little, but it’s huge. It’s an inch wide but it’s a mile deep—was this piece of understanding that my vagina is always speaking to me. It’s telling me what to do. And so in this process of letting go of everything that I thought that I knew about business, everything that I thought that I knew about how to be successful.
Through this process of learning that last piece about listening to my vagina—my lit vagina began to tell me when something was right and when something was not right. I no longer had to think.
KIM: And how would it tell you?
HAYLEY: Well, it would tingle. I would get wet, I would get excited, I would feel turned on my life or by the idea. Not just sexually or just by my partner, but just by an idea. I would start to tingle, and I would start to feel all of this energy down in my vagina and I knew, “This feels really expansive. This feels really good. This feels kind of naughty. This girl is kind of like—I could do this right now!” [Laughs] Kind of that feeling like you want to have sex with the idea!
KIM: Yeah.
HAYLEY: When I started speaking up, as I mentioned, about the things that I was afraid to talk about, I would feel my vagina tingling.
I started to question how I needed to do these things and what was the next right step, because I was moving out of a comfort zone of “these are the rules that I’ve been taught about business.” I was completely breaking all of those rules and in some ways, it felt kind of naughty, but in the rest of the ways, it felt a major, major turn-on. I felt so liberated. I feel now like I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m making this up as I go, and it has never felt better in my life. Really, I would call that surrender. I was surrendering to it, but it felt so good that I ditched the idea of sales pages. For two of those major, major launches that I had, I didn’t have sales pages. I just started sharing what I was doing on the internet and people were feeling it. I ditched the idea that I had to have everything organized before I began and I started sharing my ideas, inviting people to do it, and it was felt. Of course it was felt, because I was not thinking with my head. I was thinking with my whole body and I was expressing, from my heart, my deepest truth.
Finally, the people who have always been there in my life, who could never see me because I was censoring myself, could all of a sudden see me and feel me. They got me, and they said, “Yeah, I’m up for that, too. I believe that too.” I was saying the things that they believed, that I just wasn’t brave enough to say before. Does that make sense?
KIM: Oh yes. I love it.
I think that’s the thing about true authenticity. Even if we’re hiding a little bit, people can’t see us, something doesn’t feel right, and so they back away. But as soon as you go for it and the truth comes out of you—well, of course we know that gives other people permission to speak their truth and live in their truth as well. But yeah, I love what you said, that they see you more clearly.
HAYLEY: I’m not going to lie. It really did take courage and as I mentioned before, I developed this thing on my lip, and I knew it was just every bit of fear leaving my body. It’s no coincidence that as I began to speak up, something occurred on my lip and something energetically and physically was leaving my body at the same time.
Rather than seeing it as, “Oh my goodness, now I have to hide, I’ve got this ugly thing on my lip and maybe it’s all dangerous,” because it did feel dangerous, I decided to make it mean that I’m doing the right thing and as I keep expressing myself, everything I don’t need is just going to leave.
I feel like I left my body like a snake sheds its skin and that skin is somewhere behind me. Everything feels fresh and new and different now and absolutely limitless. And it is such a turn-on! [Laughs]
KIM: [Laughs] I love that. I love this analogy because I’ve experienced that myself, where the vagina actually starts to become like a sentient entity. I noticed that when I first began a more serious jade egg practice, there was me and there was my vagina and they both had will. They both had direction. They both had a compass. The same thing when an idea would excite me; I would be turned on not by a sexual idea, but by a creative idea or a decision to make. I would get a flutter in my clitoris, in my vagina, and involuntarily, things just started to happen. I’d think, “All right, well, that’s the direction to go in, is my vagina, my compass.”
HAYLEY: [Laughs] Yeah! It makes me laugh often as well. I’m standing there awkwardly, going, [laughs] “My vagina is tingling. I really need to do this thing right now!”
KIM: [Laughs] There’s a similarity to if our sexual energy is creative energy and it’s also our birthing energy, whether it’s ideas or babies and sex and money and creativity—these are all part of second chakra stuff, and they’re all connected.
As you’ve said, money is energy, and so when we’re in alignment with our own energy and we’re giving our gifts to the world, the universe returns that as financial abundance.
It’s simple, but I think, maybe because of our own conditioning, it affects how we look at money and even how you described your martial arts training. What is intuition? We’ve just overridden it for so long with what you think you should be doing, that we cut ourselves off from that flow.
Then, of course, the same thing applies to sexuality. People can be so cut off through the blocks and the trauma and the experiences that they’ve had that they no longer have a really clean, clear read on that energy and what they actually want.
HAYLEY: The work that I was doing with you in Vaginal Kung Fu—which is the first course that I signed up with you for, and it wasn’t long before I decided to join you for the mentorship—was the articulation of the muscles.
The way that you teach using the yoni egg isn’t just “put it in, walk around with it.” You’re strengthening your Kegels! It’s literal articulation inside. I started to feel things I didn’t even know were inside my vagina. I started to articulate muscles and walls and I really felt energy tingling in places that I didn’t even know that I could access. My vagina lit up.
KIM: Right, yeah.
HAYLEY: When I started putting it all the way up into my cervix, I didn’t realize that I would be able to feel those walls. I didn’t feel anything in the beginning and so as that articulation kind of changed, the feelings and sensations, when life gave me ideas, began to change as well.
Because I could feel it; it was stronger when I had an idea. It was a stronger feeling of, “oh my goodness, I really have to do this.” I really know in my intuition, in my heart, and in my vagina, that through doing the work of looking at the places that I had left dark, the places that I thought, “I can deal with that later, I can address that later,” I felt more aligned and more powerful and more brave to be fully myself in the world. And that’s all because I knew I wasn’t hiding or holding back a single part of who I was.
I had given myself the space to dive into the pieces of conversation and things that I wasn’t so sure about, that I didn’t feel confident about. That logically translates to business, when you’re showing up in the world, whether you have a business or a career. When you’re showing up in the world and you are not afraid of anything being found out about you, you’re not afraid of any part of who you are, you’re not ashamed, you don’t have stuff, you don’t have baggage holding you back, then you can be fully where you are and be completely powerful and unafraid. And that’s what makes a woman unstoppable—and a man. But that’s what makes a woman unstoppable, because I’m speaking for myself.
What made me feel unstoppable was that I was not avoiding any parts of myself and I was fully in life. I believe that that’s the alignment that you mentioned. That’s when I became a clear channel. That’s when life went, “Okay, she gets it. She’s here. She’s all in.” And the opportunities and money and experiences and ideas and creativity, everything just started to flow from my lit vagina.
KIM: I like what you said about that because I think it’s twofold. There’s this idea of your own—I call it demon hunting, going into the self and finding the places that we haven’t looked at, unprocessed experiences, healing that.
HAYLEY: Yes!
KIM: But there’s also the physical element of your own vagina and your own body. When you talked about going up into the deep, dark crevices of the cervix—you didn’t say that, but I did—this unknown place, and we shine this light of reconnaissance and self-knowledge into there, it’s twofold.
I think so many women are very cut-off and disconnected. Some women haven’t even put their own fingers in their own vaginas. They don’t like to. It’s okay for maybe somebody else to do it, but they don’t want to do it. There’s this revulsion that goes along with that. There’s this whole piece of the self that hasn’t been acknowledged or owned or integrated. It’s completely disassociated. On that level, there’s no wonder that people develop ailments or reproductive issues because they’re literally cut off from that place of the body, so it starts to manifest in these stuck symptoms.
But when we do go in there and claim all of those parts of ourselves, that’s what translates into the unstoppability, because nothing can harm us. We’re completely, 100% transparent in ourselves and how we show up in the world. But that sexual self-knowledge piece, interestingly enough, is such a Western culture taboo. We’re told that the entire downfall of Western civilization, starting from the Garden of Eden, came through knowledge, through self-knowledge, and was connected to this idea of sexuality.
Sexual self-knowledge has destroyed our entire civilization, essentially. We’ve been banished from heaven because we were so bad and decided to have a bit of sexual self-knowledge and yet, that is the piece that truly, truly liberates people. That is the magic Phoenix fire gate that takes people into self-realization. I still believe in powerful spiritual practices and other things we can do for self-realization, but sexual self-actualization is a huge piece of that. People I’ll see in my spiritual sphere, who are quite open in a lot of ways and very accomplished spiritually, I can tell they’re really shut down in their sexuality and that that’s holding them back in a way. They don’t really quite realize, or it’s not emphasized on their spiritual path, but it’s a pretty massive thing.
HAYLEY: I like what you said about power because if I can look back at 10 years ago, when I was feeling unstoppable and impenetrable as a martial artist, I was coming from a completely different place in my body. I was strong. I felt like a brick wall. And yet I didn’t feel happy on the inside. I felt like I had to keep up this façade. I had to keep being strong for the world. The world was relying on me to be a certain way and well, I guess, eventually I did burn out from it. That way of operating was not sustainable for me.
Sure, I felt really powerful and I missed that power when I got sick, but now, this is a different kind of transparent power, where you almost become—what’s that word? It’s anti-fragile. Where things can pass through you and you still feel strong. Things can happen and it doesn’t affect you in any way. It’s almost like a piece of grass which has a root in the ground and the wind can come and kind of knock the grass around, but grass doesn’t get affected in a huge storm. It’s still just there and that’s how it feels. That’s really how it feels.
KIM: That’s a beautiful analogy. I like that. Is there anything else that you want to add to the whole topic of sex and money and manifestation and overall abundance?
HAYLEY: Oh my goodness. I would say that if you’re thinking that your sexual energy can come later, like it’s not as important as what you’re wanting to manifest right now, something is available for you to do in that arena. In your heart, in your vagina, in your intuition, in your body, there’s something that you can do there, so do it. Because that is an area that, as you say, Kim, is the last place people go, and yet it’s the one place that unlocks everything for us because of the way that that energy transmutes and moves through our whole bodies. That’s the place where it unlocks absolutely everything. And if money is energy, your sexual energy is going to transform the way that you experience money as well in the world.
KIM: Beautiful. I love that. Yes, the cornerstone. All right, thank you.
HAYLEY: How you have sex is how you make money.
KIM: How you have sex is how you make money. If you’re a wild, playful, outrageous animal in bed, that’s what translates into your outer life.
Thank you, Hayley!
HAYLEY: Thank you so much, Kim.
The bottom line is that to create and shape the life you want, enlist your vagina. Love it, give it pleasure, spend time with it every day.
Exercise it, strengthen it, so that the muscle of it, which is its creative muscle—the muscle of receiving pleasure and good things in your life—become second nature to you. This is how it ought to be. Your vagina, your compass, your magnet. [Laughs] The source from which all life comes. In its proper and flowing form, it does. It acts as a magnet and it draws your deepest desires to you. Love, money, career, abundance, all of it, a rich life that you birth from your vagina.
My Vaginal Kung Fu Salon is the place to master all of the vaginal skills we’ve been talking about. Vaginas as creating centers and movers and shapers in your life, being able to manifest cash so that it literally falls into your lap, because your lap is the thing that attracts it, how to seal energy leaks and clear the blocks that prevent you from using this creative power, and the ability to give your partner a conscious handjob via the articulation of your vaginal walls and hence, becoming a voodoo pussy and much more.
You can sign up at KimAnami.com
Thank you so much for listening. If you haven’t already, subscribe and also leave a review and send someone else the gift of a healthy libido and an off-the-chart love life by sharing this episode with them. We’ll be back next week and in the meantime, many happy orgasms.
