Convos as Deep as the Doggy Style – Transcript
In Anami-style “gourmet” sex, I talk about the key ingredients being:
- Emotional surrender
- Sexual surrender
They both have to be there for the sex to be life-changing.
THAT’S the baseline in Anami Land: sex that changes your life.
The big barometric question I always ask is:
Does sex leave you feeling energized, rejuvenated, transformed, ecstatic and like it changed your life?
If not, you’re doing it wrong.
It’s easy to have “tick-the-box” sex.
Anyone can do that.
Couples can have sex a few times a week even.
5-15 minute encounters.
He gets off.
She gets off—with a clitoral orgasm either through oral or a vibrator.
They high-five and call it a night.
And granted, that’s doing better than 99%+ of couples out there.
But this is still hit-and-run, fast-food, drive-thru sex.
How do I know the difference?
Is it changing your life?
This is the proof in the pudding.
I put up a post a couple weeks back on my Instagram entitled:
“Well-f**ked women don’t get menopause.”
I went on to say that sure, periods stop.
But the laundry list of torturous symptoms that women are told are part of this experience:
Completely optional.
Totally self-inflicted.
The BIGGEST factor in women having a blissful, pain-free and HRT-free menopause is:
When they are being well-fucked.
I’ve seen this for decades in my work, and in my own life.
Over and over.
When women—and men—are being well-fucked, their reproductive ailments disappear.
Symptoms of imbalance—ranging from depression to weight gain—evaporate in the wake of being truly, deeply well-loved and well-fucked.
***
Some women wanted to argue with me that they were, in fact, having LOTS of sex.
But they still were suffering and guzzling the HRT.
I would guarantee—that they are NOT having Anami-style life-changing sex.
You know how I know?
Because their lives would be changed.
That’s how I know.
Simple.
If they’re still experiencing symptoms and ailments—especially reproductive ones—they aren’t having Anami-style sex.
Which means they AREN’T well-fucked.
***
THE MEDICINE, THE LIFE-CHANGING MAGIC THAT HAPPENS IN DEEP, ANAMI-STYLE SEX, IS WHAT IS DOING THE TRICK.
SO WHAT EXACTLY IS THIS elusive MAGIC OF WHICH I SPEAK?
****
WHAT EXACTLY is happening IN the DEEP EMOTIONAL AND SEXUAL SURRENDER that is de rigeur in Anami Land, THAT MAKES IT SO THERAPEUTIC AND QUANTUM LEAP HEALING?
YOU ARE SEEN.
I talk about the essential PAIRING of emotional AND sexual surrender.
AND this is why my work doesn’t apply to casual sex situations, where emotions are off the table—and out of the bed.
This is also why it doesn’t apply to “sexless marriages”—where a couple claims they have emotional intimacy or they are “such good buddies” or they like to say “sex ISN’T the most important part of a marriage!”
Because if you don’t have a deep sexual connection AND an emotional one, you don’t reach the Anami Promised Land.
You need both to ignite the life-changing magic of transformational sex and love.
So let’s get a little deeper into what emotional and sexual surrender really are.
Emotional surrender
You let someone IN.
To your heart. To your being. To your truest self.
To the parts that are your own private sanctuary.
The YOU-est of you.
Sometimes you don’t even know what these parts are—because they’ve been dormant and untouched for so long—until someone sees them.
Until you find yourself sharing them with someone who gets them.
And then you realize how alone you’ve been, until that moment.
Your favorite parts about you, tucked away in secret places and someone easily, naturally finds them.
And you let them.
You peel down your walls.
Any of the armor you wear to be in the world, you take it off and leave it at the side of the bed.
You allow yourself to trust. You dare to be vulnerable.
You speak your truth. You expose who you really are.
What you really think and feel.
No games. No hiding. No masks. No half truths or 3/4 truths or even 95% truths.
You go all in.
As raw and real and feral as you can be.
You ask for what you want.
You tell them what you want.
You demand what you want.
You express the love and adoration you have for the person.
Without holding back.
You tell them. You show them.
This flow, this outflow, becomes a constant in your lives.
Sexual surrender
Now let’s talk about sexual surrender.
Think about when you are massively attracted to someone.
You are consumed with desire.
You are so turned on that every cell in your body vibrates and hums.
The thought of them makes you weak in the knees.
Your heart beats faster.
You might even get a sense of panic like holy fuck this person will be my undoing and my UP-doing and break me the fuck apart and obliterate me.
Good. As Rumi would say, “That’s the whole idea”.
Actually, the whole poem from Rumi is:
“Gather all of your courage.
Throw yourself into his bed.
He will probably kill you.
Fantastic. That’s the whole idea.”
The best, Anami-style sex does, indeed, slay you.
It smashes you apart, into smithereens.
And you reassemble, into a higher, better version of yourself.
THAT’S the whole idea.
So when you KNOW someone can do this for you, to you, there’s often a sense of fear.
You might be ready to die, but there might also be a touch of nervousness to it all.
You let them see you like this. Raw. Shaking. Undone.
The air is thick with your erotic craving.
They are your medicine. You know it and you let them know it.
You express it all through your body and your touch and your words.
How you breathe, they way you look at them.
With sheer, unadulterated pure fucking carnal longing.
In this primal, raw, aching mad-with-desire state, you let that passion out and move through your body and being.
When I’m with someone and I feel like this, I oscillate between being in a FRENZY—attacking them and their cock—with my love.
And being absolutely still to take it all in. Where even the fluctuation of their breath registers as an orgasmic wave in my body.
Have you ever had someone spend 90 minutes between your legs?
LOOKING at you, inhaling you, touching you, licking you.
Adoring you.
BASKING IN YOU.
SEEING the essence of you.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN locked into intercourse, moving together, staring into each other’s eyes for an hour?
Most people can’t look into each other’s eyes for longer than a few seconds without feeling wildly uncomfortable and looking away or laughing and feeling embarrassed.
But you stay there. And you keep looking.
And letting yourself be looked at.
YOU LET YOURSELF BE SEEN.
***
ALL the medicine lies in being seen.
Emotionally. And sexually.
When you hit that magical combination of emotional and sexual openness, this is where your life changes.
Yes your relationship gets deeper and the sex is amazing and cataclysmic.
But then you start to see the impact of that flow into your outer life, outside the bedroom.
The healing medicine of being well-fucked now shows up everywhere.
It impacts your life, irrespective of the laws of time and space.
Or in the most advanced, quantum ways.
People lose 10-20 pounds out of the blue, without changing their diet or exercise, defying the laws of calories in and calories out.
The Anami explanation?
They’ve burned away the excess “baggage” they’ve been carrying, through the catalytic sex they’ve been having.
People’s reproductive ailments, ranging from cysts and growths, to difficult periods and menopause, evaporate.
We’ve had Well-F**ked All Stars go back to their doctors to get tests and scans and the “growth” that the “doctor” said was incurable without drugs or surgery or organ removal is suddenly… gone.
Apropos of nothing.
No rational, logical Western-medicine explanation.
Nothing but ANAMI GOOD FUCK MEDICINE.
Doctors are BAFFLED.
BAFFLED!!
The Anami explanation?
The person’s stuck sexual energy inverted on itself to create reproductive symptoms.
When they get this energy flowing again, the symptoms disappear.
These are the stories our Well-F**ked All Stars talk about on the podcast.
And why I love featuring them.
Because if you are truly being well-fucked, it changes your ENTIRE life.
Again, these kinds of results don’t show up in fast food, normie, NPC sex.
Jerking off to porn. 5-15 minute encounters. Clitoral orgasms.
Never gonna happen.
A prerequisite for this kind of life-changing love and sex is….
TIME.
You need time to open and bring down all these walls.
You need time for someone to stare into you and penetrate you.
I think it’s near impossible to get to ANY level of sexual vulnerability and true surrender without extended sex sessions.
Once you get there with someone and you go there a lot, then you can live there more easily.
But to GET there.
You need time.
This is why I talk with religious importance about the need for a weekly 3-hour sex date.
Non-negotiable.
And quarterly sex weekends.
Non-negotiable.
And annual sex weeks.
Non-negotiable.
***
Did you know there are some Michelin restaurant experiences where the meal lasts 5 hours?
There’s one restaurant where you are blindfolded for the entire meal.
There’s one restaurant that serves 34 courses.
Typical fast-food sex never goes deep. It’s drive-thru.
You get in, you get out. In fast-food sex, no one ever sees you.
And you don’t see the other person.
Not really. Not deeply. This is avoidant sex.
You can say you’ve “done it” but you really didn’t do anything but avoid your partner and yourself.
***
Many years ago, with my first serious boyfriend, we spent a weekend away at my family’s summer cabin.
It was winter though, and it was cold, so we stayed inside.
We talked and we fucked and we talked and we fucked and we talked and we fucked.
The talking led to deeper fucking and the deeper fucking opened us up to be more raw and honest in the talking and then the fucking got more savage, and more soft and more vulnerable.
Each one accelerated and amplified the other.
We didn’t leave that cabin for two days.
There was no phone there—I’m talking land line, because this is before the days of cell phones.
So it was just us.
And our hearts. And our genitals.
All raw and open and getting the shit fucked out of them.
That weekend changed my life.
I went back to work on Monday and I was a different person.
I was floating in a sensual, feminine, transcendent glow.
Deeply calm and serene. Totally clear and focused.
And the men.
The men.
Everywhere I went, everything I did, men were drawn to me like moths to a flame.
At work, men lingered at my desk all day, finding reasons to talk to me. To help me. To serve me.
My energy was so radiant, they were magnetized by it.
I wasn’t being flirtatious—at all!
I wasn’t being extra friendly.
I wasn’t initiating conversations.
It was my aura.
THIS is THE PROOF IN THE PUDDING I talk about.
You go out into the world and your energy, your being, becomes a magnet.
A catalyst.
This is the well-fucked aura.
And it paves the way for everything you do.
You become a beacon and people might not know WHAT it is about you, but they want it.
They want to be near it.
When we have that space to go, where we fully surrender and open and are LOVED for all of it, we start to trust—well, it’s not even conscious—we’ve had the self-doubt and hesitation loved and fucked out of us — you go out into the world OOZING with this energy of being well-loved and well-fucked.
And you are fearless.
The universe starts rearranging itself to help you.
Because your energy, your “vibe” is all love and generosity, grace and seeing the highest and best in everyone
Because you’ve had it seen in you.
And you’ve brought it to life in someone else.
And you now interact with the world from that place.
All of that grace is unstoppable.
There’s nothing it can’t glide and penetrate through.
Rough, tough, aggro.
It all just collapses in the face of that much inner light and beauty.
***
So. Emotional and sexual surrender.
You need both for growth.
To take your sex from superficial to life-changing.
The MEDICINE of gourmet, Anami-style sex is being seen.
In your most raw, vulnerable, naked states.
Every minute —every second—of being adored in that space is healing.
It has the transformational equivalent—though it’s MUCH MUCH more potent—of a psychedelic trip.
Except that it’s free, the supply is endless and the only side effects are that you get to live in a permanently, chemically altered, euphoric-on-demand, high-on-your-own-supply, spiritually transcendent state.
And yes YOU CAN LIVE THERE.
This is the great illusion that’s put out there to people—that the “initial” high, the biochemical trick that nature plays on you to mate, according to underfucked “SCIENTISTS”—is just temporary.
And then you are resigned to a life of monogamy monotony.
And that’s what is it for most people: monotony.
Why?
Because they have no idea how to create this deep dive, gourmet version of their intimate lives.
They have no tools for being able to grow within their relationship.
And so they stagnate.
It’s all they know.
And they complain that the sex is lame and monogamy is lame.
Nah. They’re just lazy fuckers in a shitty relationship.
And they don’t know what they don’t know.
But I do.
And so can you.
I can teach you. But I have to charge.
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Where Well-F**ked All Stars are made.
