Why You Come Too Fast and How to Fix It – Transcript
We debated titling this episode “7 reasons you are a premature ejaculator…”
But we thought some guys might think that fucking their woman for only five minutes and coming might not qualify as Premature Ejaculation.
Maybe they’re rationalized they were champs.
So let’s define it in Anami Land: PE is coming in less than an hour.
PE exists on a spectrum.
Let’s see where YOU fall on it.
PE Spectrum
Jizzy McJizz Jazz = Come before you’ve even taken off your pants.
3 minutes which is 75% of men. Preemie of the creamy. Grounds for dumping.
5 minutes: Which 95% of men = Not even fuckin close. Still dump.
15 minutes = Woman still massively underfucked.
30 – 45 minutes = Close. But no cigar.
****** And here we have the line that divides the boys from the men. Or being a sexual retard vs. a Supercock savant ******
60 minutes = Having absolute control. Heroic, but still bare minimum in Anami Land.
3 hours+ = Marry me.
***
PE is the most common sexual affliction men have.
And, stamina is THE MOST important sexual skill you need to cultivate as a man.
Looking at these stats: 95% of men come within 5 minutes.
This means 95% of men are premature ejaculators.
And 95% of women are underfucked.
In Anami Land, we’d consider anything below and hour to be leaving the chat before anything good happens.
In Anami Land, the bare minimum for men is:
Being able to go a full hour—in any position, doing any activity—and stay the course.
That ass could be all up in the air and YOU’VE GOT THIS.
She could be giving you the most savage, deep-throating blow job of ALL TIME and YOU’VE GOT THIS.
She could be making the craziest whimpering noises and looking at you like you are the Fuck Messiah and guess what??
YOU’VE GOT THIS.
I cannot emphasize ENOUGH the importance of you having unshakable, unbreakable, able-to-withstand-anything stamina.
This becomes the crucial, symbolic measure of your capacity as a man.
Your JOB as a man—as the masculine—is to provide the steady container for all of her feminine wildness to flourish within.
When she’s emotional, you hold your ground.
When she’s sexy and seductive as fuck and giving you a hand job with her Anami-trained vagina, you hold your ground.
You know that idea that women are always testing men?
It’s 100% right.
They are.
They’re pushing you to see how well you stand up under pressure.
Do you falter with the slightest provocation?
And that includes your erection.
Does IT falter with the slightest provocation?
Do you?
Or can you handle ALL of it.
She’s testing to see if it’s safe for her to let go with you.
She needs to know if you are strong enough and can create a container that HOLDS everything she has to give you.
Her heart, her orgasms, her vulnerability.
All of it.
Can you take it like a man?
When she’s in the throes of total surrender deep orgasm, fully open, walls down, epic levels of vulnerability, are you going to be able to keep the pace with her, or will you bail—i.e. come too quickly—and leave her sexually and emotionally stranded?
She needs to know.
So yes, there are tests.
What you do with them deems how much she’s able to open, let go and truly, madly, deeply surrender to you.
Or.
How underfucked, miserable and bitter she becomes.
So.
If you are a man who is NOT capable of going a solid hour under any and all conditions, listen up.
I’m gonna give it to you straight.
This ought to be your NUMBER ONE priority in the sexual realm—and even for your overall value as a man—to rectify this.
And, do it fast.
I mean, you know, change it fast.
With Kim the Cock Whisperer’s tried and true techniques.
So why would a man be the kind of man who consistently blows his load too fast?
REASON YOU’RE A WANKER #1: You developed some bad habits.
You went through puberty with furtive masturbation sessions, trying to rush to the finish line before anyone came in and interrupted you.
You’ve wired your brain and cock to think this is how we do it.
It’s not.
REASON YOU’RE A WANKER #2: You’ve been programmed by TV and movie sex.
Everyone on TV has sex for 20 seconds or less.
He usually comes in under 10 seconds.
And she appears to really, really enjoy that.
She doesn’t.
She might even look like she came too.
She didn’t.
For the sake of fitting an entire sexual encounter into a movie or TV show, we get to see a very concentrated version.
It’s inaccurate, but it imprints upon us, by seeing these 20 second sessions over and over, that THIS is normal.
REASON YOU’RE A WANKER #3: You a scared. Of intimacy.
Guys who come too fast are terrified of going deeper.
So the bail before they can even get close to that.
The longer you make love with your partner, especially when you are deeply connected, the more intimate, intense and confronting it is.
You can’t hide.
You see deep inside them.
They see deep inside you.
If you aren’t ready for that, if you fear it, if you love/fear it/are fascinated by it at the same time, you’ll hit the EJECT switch.
Your awareness of this might be very below the surface.
But it’s a self—and relationship—sabotaging mechanism that will prevent you from going deep.
Ever.
REASON YOU’RE A WANKER #4: You a lazy.
You gotta work, bitch. BRITNEY SONG
It takes effort to change this pattern.
I’ve seen men shift it in 2-3 days.
And I’ve seen other men take weeks.
The rate of change is a measure of a man’s true commitment.
You have to wonder, why WOULDN’T someone do this if it’s so easy to do?
All the reasons here are valid as subconscious fear.
Plus this next one.
REASON YOU’RE A WANKER #5: You’re into violence against women.
Seemingly passive-aggressively, but it’s actually pretty aggressive.
For men who are repeat offenders—and when I say this I think of something Samantha said in Sex and the City:
“Fuck me badly once, shame on you.
Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.”
When we were talking about this topic, one of my staff made the parallel of:
PE = DV
Premature ejaculation = domestic violence.
I agree with this take.
I think it’s brilliant and NOT AN OUNCE too harsh.
The kinds of rationalizations domestic abusers make are IDENTICAL to what men will say when they come too quickly.
“If YOU weren’t so sexy I could last longer…”
“You’re so hot, I just couldn’t help myself!”
This is manipulation.
So a woman should be less sexy, less beautiful, less desirable?
Shouldn’t a man—a real man—rise up to meet her and be grateful as fuck someone that HOT deigns to fuck him???
The entrenched power dynamic and insinuation is that the woman ought to shrink and “be less” so he can continue to be much, much less.
That’s abuse.
There are so many parallels, it’s shocking.
Premature ejaculation happens behinds closed doors in secrecy, fuelling sexual shame.
Just like guys who beat women, they aren’t out there bragging about it.
At least not generally. In most segments of society.
Premature ejaculation ignores a woman’s boundaries and erodes her sense of self.
If a guy is coming too quickly, her own needs are 100% neglected.
She’ll be chronically underfucked and have all the symptoms that go with it.
Then she’ll be grumpy and naggy and irritable.
She’ll lash out.
And that can be further justification for beating her/not fucking her well.
And then the man will wonder why she avoids sex with him.
She’ll find any excuse—cleaning the kitty litter, picking lint off towels—anything but to get brutally and badly fucked by him.
I don’t blame her one bit.
**
Premature ejaculation isolates a woman from her prime support network aka her sexual desires, her vagina and her orgasms.
Premature ejaculation is non-consensual. A woman doesn’t agree to get fucked and dumped in.
Premature ejaculation is an abuse of power.
Premature ejaculation is gaslighting to the highest–by passively placing the blame on the woman for being “too sexy” thus abdicating any self-responsibility.
Premature ejaculation is sexual deprivation.
Premature ejaculation breaks trust.
Premature ejaculation leaves a woman feeling used and objectified, like a semen waste disposal/urinal/semen repository
Premature ejaculation is thievery. It robs a woman of her confidence, joy, connection, pleasure and eventually her libido itself.
**
If a guy won’t change this about himself, I’d encourage a woman to leave him.
THAT’S how grave an abuse I consider this to be.
It’s all the more heinous because it’s totally fixable.
And fast.
IF IF IF the man wants to.
Which shows that if he continues to perpetuate this abuse, then he’s actually enjoying it on some perverse level.
((( Maybe as revenge on all women who ever allowed their baby boys to get their dicks cut off.
Or his own mother for letting it happen. ))))
So yeah.
PE is a hate crime against women.
You heard it here first.
***
REASON YOU’RE A WANKER #6: Because they cut yo dick off.
Circ trauma hurt you bad.
I’ve definitely seen a pattern in circumcised men and PE.
I’m not saying that everyone of them is.
Or that all intact men are not.
But in my personal and clinical observations, this is a theme.
And it makes sense.
Man has intense, torture trauma, often at birth or shortly after.
He has no way to process this, so the whole experience gets sublimated.
Not only can he not process it, but he’s gaslit and told that THIS WAS GOOD FOR HIM.
He now has the inner conflict of having sustained MASSIVE pain in the most sensitive part of his body… that is also, paradoxically, the source of the most pleasure.
What happens in the sex act?
This unconscious conflict arises and he just bails out of the game.
Think about it.
You have been ritually tortured. This stuff doesn’t just go away.
It erupts in all sorts of weird and seemingly unrelated ways.
Just like a woman with a history of unhealed sexual abuse.
She’ll manifest all manner of symptoms from difficult periods to endometriosis to fertility issues.
And most poignantly, she’ll have a condition that doctors have cluelessly named “vagina on lockdown”.
Her vagina is literally clamped shut, in a protest against penetration.
Until deeper-level healing is done.
And then magically the vagina is open to being entered.
Circumcised men can absolutely, 100% work on this to cultivate Supercock stamina.
And conscious cock awareness.
Whether you do direct circumcision healing, or commit to building stamina and retraining your brain and cock.
You can get there.
REASON YOU’RE A WANKER #7: You not really like chicks and secretly a gay.
Nothing I can do here. Just go fuck some dudes.
***
So.
Like I said, this can be remedied fast.
I’d say much of the problem comes out of the fact that 3-5 minute sex is so normalized.
And because it’s normalized, women think they don’t really *like* penetration that much anyway.
Combine that with a bunch of sexually inexperienced and underfucked so-called sex experts MISTAKENLY saying that the clitoris is the only thing that matters anyway.
So you have several different narratives writing off the importance of vaginal sex.
And of course vaginal orgasms.
And the cycle perpetuates.
Men don’t bother building stamina because they think they’re women don’t really like sex anyway.
And women remain chronically underufcked because they don’t like the kind of sex they’re being offered.
The main point I want to make here is that PE is COMPLETELY 100% in your control to change.
I’ve come across men who seem to think that their ability to last in bed is the domain of The Come Fairy.
She flies in and waves her magic wand—at your magic wand—and just makes it spew.
Nope.
It’s all YOU.
I’ve taken men from being perpetual, lifelong 5-minute fuckers to being able to last one hour—which is the Anami gold standard bare minimum.
So what do you do?
How do you go from being a two-pump chump, to a legendary Supercock?
1) You gots to want it.
The longer you go for, the more intense YOUR orgasm will be.
The longer you go for, the more intense HER orgasm will be.
What’s the downside?
None.
But… you may need to confront the issues I’ve mentioned.
At least intellectually, you need to consider them all.
As for somatic, in-the-body healing, like I said, we cover ALL of this in my SMM Supercock factory.
And the rest of it, your body will take care of.
Meaning, the longer you have sex for, and as you learn to harvest and recirculate your sexual energy, IT WILL HEAL YOU.
It’s the most powerful regenerative energy you have access to.
At your fingertips.
Once you learn to be conscious of it.
All things I teach in SMM.
2) Commit, mothafucka
Dive in and don’t turn back.
Some men can switch this around in days.
For some, it will take weeks.
But it’s 100% doable for every man.
I guarantee it.
This is not some random afflciaiton outside if your control.
It is ENTIRELY and ONLY in YOUR control.
So control it.
3) Breathe. Just breathe.
That’s it. That’s all you have to do.
Most men hold their breath, the closer to orgasm they get.
Or they breath really shallow.
THIS the main culprit for your orgasm escaping you in the moment.
Solution?
Breathe.
Deeply.
Aim for a 4-count inhale and a 4-count exhale.
Ideally, all the way through your sexual encounter.
And especially when you are close to your edge.
I use the 7-10 zone as an arbitrary, average “edge” zone for men.
THIS is where you need to slow down and be super aware.
Before you are in danger of going over the edge, pause.
Stop thrusting. Stop moving. She stops moving.
If you are practicing solo, stop all stimulation.
Breathe deeply into your belly and your pelvis.
Four-count inhale and a four-count exhale or longer.
Do three rounds of inhales and exhales.
Let your arousal subside to a 5 or a 6.
And then build up again.
Do at LEAST three rounds of this—where you get to your edge and then you pause.
You can either come after that, or keep going as many rounds as you want and THEN come, or… you just don’t come.
This leads into another conversation about orgasm without ejaculation.
Which would be an advanced version of this.
You can check out what our Well-F**ked All Stars have to say about this in:
All Men Can Orgasm without Ejaculation. It’s the Anami Guarantee.
Season 4 Episode 28
And
Semen Retention: What’s All the Fuss?
Season 6 Episode 25
4) Relax.
Okay, there is ONE more thing to do.
Or rather NOT do.
You need to relax.
Most men clench their legs and their buttocks as they get close to orgasm.
Some men contract their entire bodies: legs, butts, arms, faces.
No no no.
You have to open, and relax and let go.
I know it *might* seem counter-intuitive.
You might think that clenching and holding on is going to stop things.
It’s not.
It’s going to exacerbate them.
So you relax.
Everything.
And you breathe.
**
These are the basics. In a nutshell.
I go into it all in more depth in Sexual Mastery for Men.
Including how to orgasm without ejaculation.
And, how to channel your sexual energy as a pro-creative force into every part of your body and life.
Where it then becomes the ultimate amplifier of all that you do.
**
A man in control is a man we can trust.
In cock we trust.
At least in “conscious” cock, we trust.
**
My Sexual Mastery for Men salon opens September 2nd.
This is my 8-week Supercock training for men in all things love, masculinity and sexual superiority.
You’ll learn:
- How to build epic stamina and separate orgasm from ejaculation
- Cock exercises to lengthen, strengthen and grow cock: organically!
- Deeper healing modalities to release trauma
- Circumcision healing and foreskin restoration
- Detoxing from porn
- How to channel your sexual energy as a creative power, increasing your vitality, confidence and cash flow.
- Pelvic weight lifting routine
- Orgasmapedia: the guide to female orgasms, especially the deeper vaginal orgasms, including G-Spot, squirting and cervical
- Embodying your masculine expression in the world: how to “man up” in today’s “hostile-to-masculine-energy” climate.
Go to kimanami.com/stamina to check it out and get on the waitlist to be notified of when we open registration.
On that same page, you can also signup for my free masterclass on How to Grow Cock Organically.
Because yes—you can.
Yes. You have lifetime access to the salon, so you can learn anytime, anywhere.
I appreciate your drive to change the sexual world. I’ll be away in september when the men’s salon starts. Do I have to do it in real time (on your schedule) or can I do it at my own pace when I am able?